Charge!

Hi Hash It Outers,

I have a problem. I turn to you as my dog is so dosed up on canine Valium she thinks she’s Liz Taylor. I’ve asked her for advice, but she just bats her eyelids at me and asks why there’s so much tonic in her gin. Shall I go through the charade of prefacing this with the fact that this is not an actual problem as I live in Australia in 2015 and despite Tony Abbott still being our PM, I have so little to complain about by world standards etc etc? So yes there you go, assume I keep a gratitude journal and do many, many hours of charity work.

So how annoying is it that you have to keep charging all your stuff all the time? I have been in the unworkable situation of late where, because my unit is really old, there are not enough power points for anything bar the fridge and a toddler’s finger. What were they thinking in the 60s? Could they not see that one day we would want to use more electricity? They could imagine the flying car but not the double adapter? To make matters worse, the Canadian and I have very different attitudes in relation to the pronunciation of the word ‘controversy’, the importance of ice hockey and how and when devices should be charged.

He’s a run ‘em down, ‘it’s good for the battery to go completely flat’ sort of bloke. Not only is this laissez faire approach to charging infuriating when I try to call him but it also means when the charging mood does strike him IT’S URGENT! DOWN TO 2% URGENT!
I’m a Virgo so as you can imagine, very organised, efficient and some may say highly strung. I think anything below 50% is chargeworthy – the Canadian scoffs ‘next you’ll be getting petrol when there’s still half a tank!’ Why yes I will, as apparently those who let their petrol run way down to ‘E’ not only have an excellent chance of running out on the Westgate but all sorts of stuff like plastic rings from beer cans and pelicans covered in oil run through your engine and make it not work properly.
So we’re always plugging and unplugging. We’re doing a hot shoe shuffle and constantly unplugging the microwave by mistake. Then I feel compelled to re-set the time, thus wasting more time and blah blah blah – as a former boss once said to me ‘Kate, go and get my car, I’m drunk and I can’t remember where I parked it and I need it to drive to the airport now!’ oh not that quote. He also said ‘don’t just come to me with a whole lot of problems, come to me with at least one solution.’ Sage advice, yes. So here it is: The Charging Station.

There is one shelf currently located in the lounge room which I have transformed simply using skills I have acquired from never watching The Block and now I have a power bar, two phone chargers, an iPad charger and a free spot for whatever lucky electrical appliance I deem worthy. Most importantly I also have a sticky note identifying the shelf as ‘The Charging Station’. After all, it’s just a Tshirt until some yoke embroiders another yoke playing polo on it and asks you to call him Ralph.

So far, so good. Fewer fights at our place but this might just be because both of our phones are now fully charged so we can sit silently next to each other on the couch playing Candy Crush.

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