Monday Feb 2 is not the day to accidentally leave your phone at a lunch date with a bloke you met on the internet in the hope that he will kindly drop it off to you just in time for dinner where you can discuss your mutual confusion about risotto being a thing that costs $28 and how much you both enjoy keeping fit which allows you to build up stamina for your main hobby – bonking. No today you will need your phone clasped firmly in your hand for when social media explodes later on today. Things to keep an eye out for today:
1.Groundhog Day (hilariously, it is already Groundhog Day here but won’t be Groundhog Day in America until tomorrow. Or later today our time but you get it! It repeats!)
2. Super Bowl half time show featuring Katy Perry (who I happen to know once had bad skin but now uses ProActive; so does Puff Daddy however he hasn’t really turned his new flawless complexion into actual music or anything else as far as I can tell).
3. Super Bowl ads – bring it on, trick me into thinking I like American beer – again.
4. Super Bowl – it’s an American sport where people have microphones attached to their helmets so they can hear each other shout swear words while Katy Perry sings about ProActive.
5. My Kitchen Rules starts #surelyIhatesomeonealready
All that plus, I still have to process the Australian Open final… And we can examine why yelling at the crowd to shut up can make you less popular than the other guy who most people assumed was a robot invented by Boris Becker to take the spotlight of his many failed marriages and his claims that he absolutely DID NOT have an affair with that woman until such time as a child was born matching his DNA. Still I loved seeing Andy Murray’s puppet mouth open up and down and yell things.
And the Socceroos whom I have loved since they were like so indy that they just played VFL for the Frankston Dolphins had a big win in extra time which is like over time in other sports but as people keep saying with real football you get something extra. For a while it was a kick in the slats and a warm pint but now it seems to mean you can win things which we really weren’t prepared for especially seeing as we’re named after a kangaroo that doesn’t really fare that well outside of its preferred sporting area, the UFC cage fighting ring.
And the cricket! I know, I couldn’t have cared less about that one either, but at least England put on their going out tracksuit pants this time, those others were for cleaning the shower only lads.
And Robert Allenby is still missing some time between 11.06pm and 1.27am on the night of his now quote marked ‘kidnapping and abduction’, (about 2 hours and 21 minutes to be exact which eerily enough, is the exact running time of Mike Leigh’s film Secrets and Lies). I find this missing time business confusing too because I know I’m always checking the time to see when was the last I could remember the time too! Especially when I’m out having big fun with my new friends – two guys, a girl and a strip club. And in possibly the best quote of the whole second press conference / his career ‘I have no memory … in my brain.’ Really cos your forehead might be able to let your brain in on a thing or two.
Now let’s hope Punxsutawney Phil predicts an early spring and that Andy Murray’s fiancée finds a job.
Image courtesy of “Groundhogday2005”. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Groundhogday2005.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Groundhogday2005.jpg