I’ve signed myself up to a charity – the H3O challenge and the good news is, you don’t have to make a donation.
For the next 30 days I have to stop drinking coke! The H3O challenge is about replacing all sugary drinks with water. This includes sports drinks, juices, fizzy drinks and, perhaps most painfully during summer, Slurpees.
It’s exactly what I need right now. If I’m honest I drink coke every day, sometimes even an old fashioned 600ml ‘buddy’! I punched my stats into the sugary drinks calculator and discovered that, if successful with this program, I can avoid 6hrs and 37mins of housework per week. (see diagram)
According to the H3O website, right now 2/3 of Victorians are overweight or obese. It all started when prohibition laws were relaxed and Farmers Union Iced Coffee hit our shelves in the early 2000s. Unassuming Victorians were defenseless against this delicious South Australian delicacy. We never knew milk could taste so good. We also didn’t know that a carton contained 410 calories! I hit it pretty hard. I was having a 600- er per day and, quite often, right before bed.
Not surprisingly, I started to balloon out and things hit rock bottom. A guy at indoor soccer called me a ‘fat bastard’. I needed to go cold turkey and started my own facebook support page called ‘Jeff vs Milk’. With the encouragement of my virtul friends, I kicked the habit. It’s five years later now, I’m 10 kgs lighter and still ‘Farmers Union free’. I wanted to delete the page but Facebook wouldn’t let me. I think they’re worried I could relapse.
The best thing about kicking my Farmers Union Iced Coffee habit was that I developed a heightened sense of taste. According the the H3O website tastebuds ‘renew themselves about every 10 days and are very quick to adapt to new situations’. A slimmer me was having a pie at the football one night (whilst in remission) and something struck me like a bolt out of the blue. I turned to my mate Munce and shared my epiphany. ‘Four and Twenty pies are spiced!’ I exclaimed. I could taste spices in my pie where before I had only tasted mince and gravy. ‘If a meat pie could taste this good, what else can I look forward to?’ I wondered. And, thus, another a food wanker was born.
I’m not posting this to inspire others to join me. I’m just asking you to support me by not inviting me out for pizza or chinese for 29 more days. I cannot enjoy either of these cuisines without an icy cold coke.
fun fact: In 2008, Farmers Union outsold coca cola in SA by a ratio of 3:1. They sold 36 million litres. It flows like water over there. I’m pretty sure they have it on tap in pubs?