How messy is your car?

Somewhere along the way, my car went from being a simple smog making method of transport to a place where I eat all my meals and throw around the empty packets and / or plates. I didn’t realise how bad things were until I had to move a cereal bowl complete with fossilized Wheat Bix from the front seat to accommodate a workmate after a late night meeting recently. When I went to open the glove box and shove the bowl in there, I was met by ANOTHER bowl in the same (OK worse) condition! Ergh!

When I bought my first car, it was a lovely little mustard coloured rust bucket that I cheerfully named Cliff Corolla and boy I treated Cliff like the Prince he was. I bought a Club Lock, car seat covers, floor mats and a scented dangly tree. I put little yellow daisy stickers on the back window and I loved Cliff like you can only love someone when you’re 19. Sure I smoked like a chimney in him and I may have ferried around passengers who slurped Pleasant Valley Passion Wine and spilled a little but I certainly never ate whole meals in him.

And it’s not just food, I’ve moved a whole host of previously home based activities into my now much nicer car. I have a box of hair ties, clips and brushes, I have a box of old makeup which I guess I’m waiting for a much longer car trip to use. I have CDs and cases that they don’t belong to. I have shoes. So many shoes. Pens, paper,  overdue library books, biodegradable shopping bags that never get used, dog leads, dog jackets, rain jackets, sunscreen, (in Melbourne I could need both on the same day!) a Melways (I know!) and some other stuff that I think is from when I last moved house. Plus some MORE stuff which I think is just actual rubbish, empty cans, take away coffee cups etc. I’m like a disgraced ex-cop who rocks up to a job and empty bottles of bourbon and cigarette butts fall from the car as he exits and stumbles towards the crime scene.

If push came to shove (and usually it does when I try to enter or exit my car) I could probably survive in there for about 8 weeks. So what’s the solution? Sure I could just clean it all up (or pay someone else to) but how will I prevent it from coming back? I fear it’s like The Blob! How do you guys behave like proper grown ups? What’s the secret to having a car that’s actually fit for passengers? Or should I just buy a motorbike?

Yay! Someone worse than me


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