Why Channel 7’s coverage makes you wish you were at Melbourne Cup

Why are there 100,000 people at Flemington for the 2016 Melbourne Cup you may ask… Are there that many horse racing enthusiasts in Melbourne? Or does everyone go to avoid watching in on Channel 7? There are certainly some aspects of their coverage that could be improved…

1. The Birdcage

I’m sure when you’re in the Birdcage you feel like you are at the centre of the universe but the rest of us couldn’t really give a stuff. So how about showing us what’s happening elsewhere around the track Channel 7? We’re not sure who Kris Smith is to be honest and we’re not sure why you think we’d care about what he has to say… Especially when Macca has fashioned a pair of stilts out of 8 empty beer cans in The Nursery and we’re missing out on seeing whether or not he can run 100m in them.

2. Bruce

After every race – ‘that’s a fantastic story isn’t it?’ No. No it’s not Bruce. I just lost 20 bucks.

Also, Simon O’Donnell – what does ‘this track will give every horse a chance’ actually mean?

3. Cross Promotion

We understand the concept of cross promotion but do they have to lay it on so thick? Does Emily Angwin really expect us to believe she is going to ‘rush home and watch First Dates after the races’? I mean c’mon, there’s a spa in the G.H. Mumm marquee. What’s the hurry?

And slipping ‘tab.com.au’ into conversations is not quite as seemless as you might think Channel 7. Personally, I’ve never met a friend at a pub and asked ‘how was your long weekend thanks to tab.com.au?’

4. The Michelle Payne tributes

The re enactment, the interview with the woman who painted her portrait, Michelle delivering the trophy… No wonder she didn’t get a ride in the Cup she was too busy shooting promos for Channel 7.

5. The Reflections

There’s a handful of people who genuinely love horse racing… and they’re all part of Channel 7’s commentary team. You’ll see them pensively wandering along the track saying things like ‘who can forget Empire Rose walking past this very spot in 1988’. For the rest of us, it’s everything else that’s memorable… How about ‘who can forget Dayna breaking her ankle here in those ridiculous high heels in 2004’? Oh Dayna…

6. The cliches

Can we please have a moratorium on references to women as ‘fillies’ and any joke that begins with ‘I’ve got a tip for you…’? Please…

Where do you think Channel 7’s coverage of the Melbourne Cup could be improved? Leave a comment below…

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