Was MKR hair a plant?

0 Comments 28 February 2016

MKR hair

We all saw the hair in Lauren’s croquette on MKR tonight. We were all mortified by the hair. But the question nobody is asking is ‘how did the hair get in there?’

Can we really rule out the possibility that one of the MKR contestants planted the hair in Hazel and Lisa’s croquettes? Were they searched on their way in? Would it have been so hard to smuggle in a hair? Someone needs to launch a Kickstarter campaign and get this hair forensically tested by Horatio’s team at CSI Miami.

The suspects

Lauren: After being harshly judged on her ‘al dente’ seafood dish, Lauren has the clearest motive. Frankly, though, it’s humiliating for her to even have to endure the instant restaurant round because she’s Italian and, as we’ve learned, that means you are genetically predisposed to being an excellent cook.

(Incidentally, did you know Hazel was half Italian? Oh you did? Cos she mentioned 50 times during the night, I see)

Hazel: Key suspect who prepared the Croquettes herself but channel 7s footage from sunday night clearly shows that her hair was tied up the whole time. We know she does this because she is desperately trying to look like Lisa. ‘There’s only ten years difference between us’… yeah Hazel… that’s a decade!

Jason: Even Jason would have to admit that personal grooming isn’t his strong point. An important question for the MKR investagators to consider here is just how long the hair is in those mutton chops. We do know the ‘MKR hair’ was long enough to be ‘right through (Lauren’s) salad’.

Mike (or Tarq): No real motive here and neither of these likeable Queenslanders have matching hair colour and I’m dying to use a ‘hair of the dog’ pun in my next article… Mike will love it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden, uncontrollable urge to drink a bottle of Fuze Tea.

How do you think the MKR hair get in Lauren’s croquette? Leave a comment below…

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Jeff is a singer, comedian, writer and video producer. In 2009, Jeff began hosting a new comedy show on Triple M called the Peanut Gallery. He also presented guest spots on Eddie McGuire’s Hot Breakfast and took over the hosting duties from Eddie over the summer break. Jeff is the lead singer of Melbourne band Robot Child. Their debut album One More War launched in April 2014. Jeff also produces funny online videos for companies such as QANTAS and Mother. His youtube page has had over 300,000 views. As a writer, Jeff has had articles published in The Age Sport section, MX and on The Herald Sun website.

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