Being Reality TV famous

So you want to be on the Bachelor and become famous? Maybe do a skin care commercial after the show finishes? Bag yourself a commercial radio gig?.. Well before you sign that lengthy binding contract you haven’t proof read, ask yourself: is this really what I want?

I had an ex who was convinced it was. She contacted me years after we broke up explaining that it was her life ambition to get onto Big Brother and only I could help her get there by editing together an audition video. I couldn’t say no (dammit, after all these years she was still making me do stuff I don’t want to do!). Mercifully, the raw footage had already been shot (by her new Boyfriend – poor bastard). It consisted mainly of her sitting on a beanbag in a t-shirt and no pants, sipping champagne, talking about herself. It was so conceited… I mean, in the end not conceited enough to get her onto the show but conceited enough that neither of us walked away with any dignity in tact.

How did she think the nation watching her take a shower was going to enhance her life I wondered? I mean, being famous does not come without it’s own challenges. Forfeiting your privacy for example but if you’re determined to be famous regardless – I just think you’d want to be be famous for something worthwhile, not for something completely inane or stupid. Imagine being the guy who is stopped in the street by people saying ‘hey, you’re the bloke who turkey slapped that girl on Big Brother’. Or ‘Hey Laurina! What’s for lunch? Dirty street pie?’. That would get pretty tired. There must be hundreds of Reality TV Show has beens who endure this warped version of fame every day and regret ever asking their ex to edit together an audition tape.

So if you really crave the attention, just try and be famous for something useful. At least go on Masterchef and cook a flan. We’ve reached a strange juncture in history if people think the only way to launch their careers is to pre meditate marrying a stranger on TV whilst he snogs several other women at the same time. There has to be another way.

Would you be a contestant on The Bachelor if it meant 500k Instagram followers? Leave a comment below…

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