TV Cliff Notes: Robert and Lynzey MKR

TV Cliff Notes for MKR weds 4th February – Texan Robert and his daughter Lynzey.


We all needed a feelgood episode of MKR and Texan Robert and his Daughter Lynzey delivered – perfect scores of 10 from the get go for their deep fried Quail entree and a whopping final score of 90 have them sitting pretty at the top of the leader board.

Robert revealed some of his most closely guarded secrets like what Ranch dressing actually is and a deep south equivalent of Devils On Horseback (replace prunes with Jalepenos).

Entree, the Quail, wasn’t Blue Mountain cooks trying to impress the judges, it was an old family recipe (please pronounce ‘receep’).

We also discovered that Lynzey was ridiculed at High School when Robert would pack a whole roasted Quail in her lunchbox. The rest of us ate cheese and Vegemite rolls for our 6 years of high school.


The MKR theme of rare beef needing be served as rare as possible again reared it’s ugly head. Robert committed gastrocide by delivering… pause for effect… medium beef! He promised meat so rare, he used this proverb: ‘wipe his rear and bring him by here’ (referring to the cow).

How you liked steak cooked used to be a matter of personal preference but those days are over. You feel like a criminal if you ask for a steak cooked ‘medium’ in a good restaurant. ‘What will the chef think of me?’ The public humiliation is too much. Who really cares. I’m pretty sure the animal no longer does.

Robert was the perfect host and gave the others a lesson on good old fashioned hospitality. In spite of being most graciously hosted, Gina still managed to find complaint had her elbows on the table for much of the meal. If she were Robert’s daughter I’m sure he’d have taught her some manners and said ‘all joints on the table will be carved’.


We all wondered if Robert was the real deal of a ‘faux’ cowboy. Well he delivered in spades didn’t he? More turns of phrase than you could poke a stick at.

He started off the episode chopping wood and cracked a whip as the other teams walked in the door. The particularly small knife he carved the beef with briefly aroused my suspicions but I later conceded that is was likely his pocket knife.


Could have been one of many but given how well Robert and Lynzey performed on the night we’ll go with this one.

Robert: you would eat that off the bottom of your boot.


What is Lynzey a professional athlete of?

I mean only a professional athlete could pull off white pants so I’m not doubting her but what is her area of expertise? Triathlon? Perhaps a martial art?

Also, where is Robert’s wife and why does he refer to her as ‘Lynsey’s Mum’? I hope there’s not a Woman’s Day exclusive on the horizon. Are we going to find out Robert was in the same strip group as Blake from the Bachelor? If so, I’d rather not know about it.

What was your favorite Texas Robert moment of tonight? Leave us a comment below…


  1. Kate

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