‘Don’t be silly Kate, I know how to use a tea bag you drongo. I’ve been drinking tea at home for some time quite successfully, thanks but no thanks.’
Oh I was the same as you dear reader, I too thought there was nothing left to learn from the humble tea bag ever since I discovered that the Queen believes it OK to use the same bag twice. As it turns out, I had been drinking my tea ALL WRONG. Often I had attempted to hold a conversation in polite company about oh I don’t know, my share portfolio or my interest in Baroque art while simultaneously trying to wind my tea bag string around a teaspoon and I end up looking more mad marionette master than June Daly Watkins.
Tea spills, fingers are sticky, and there is a tea bag trussed up like a roast dinner on the saucer or hanging around on the sink. Sometimes I can’t even be bothered trying to figure that out and I just have to throw it out and buy another teaspoon.
There are other methods, the finger burning option where your hands take the place of the silver tea bag-squeezer which I also believe the Queen finds too tedious to wash. But that limits your tea intake to the time it takes for your blisters to heal.
There’s also the method I used for some time, which was to pretend the whole thing wasn’t happening at all and just drink your entire cup of tea with the tea bag inside it. Overbrewed meant nothing to me but I’ll confess here that then I often found an old cup with a dried out tea bag stuck to the side of it, right on top of my copies of Good Housekeeping. Ergh.
It’s worth adding here that SOME people do not believe in tea bags. These people are not to be trusted. Tea bags are real and they are amazing.
So what can you do short of giving up tea or running a load of dishes through the dishwasher every few days? I call it the three tap tea bag hack. Simply tap your bag three times on the side of your cup. The tea bag will not drip and can be disposed of without issue. ‘WHAT? How long has this been going on?’ Well long enough for someone to explain it to my mum accompanied by the ‘Der!’ face. I mean you know the face that you reserve for stuff the Kardashians say.
So while you re-group and start to piece back together the fragments of your life now that you have been provided with this information, consider this. It works with all normal tea bags (screw those expensive triangle tea bags, no one likes your private school get up) and any old cup. (Even ones made from trees or the Styrofoam plant). And it’s a great conversation starter at an awkward AA meeting or your next parent teacher night, which I hope for your kid’s sake are separate events.
So there dear readers, in the time it’s taken for the kettle to boil or that Mexican drug lord to tunnel out of his prison cell, you’ve made the perfect cuppa! Hurrah!
Cup of tea
Tea bag, sugar, milk. (Sugar and milk, optional. Leaving the empty milk carton in the fridge, not optional).
Try the three tap tea bag technique and leave a comment below…